?

Log in

First badfic review!!! - Lord love the badfics 'cause we sure don't. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Gundam Wing badfics!

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

First badfic review!!! [Nov. 11th, 2004|02:11 pm]
Gundam Wing badfics!

gwcesspool

[emsmu]
Hi everyone! This will be my first badfics review so enjoy! (or else...)

Story or Series Title: The New Girl
Perp Author: Duck3 (because (s)hes a quack ^_~)
Any rating?: PG
Canon characters Being mutilated involved: They have "girl aquaintances" (come on, we all know they dont like girls. STOP FOOLING YOURSELVES CRAZY FANGIRLS!!!)
Subjects Trivialized covered: General/Sci-fi
Any particular brain scarring details we should note?: In the first paragraph the guys and girls have a "conversation war"
Any redeeming value?: The conversation was about hot people ^_^
Repeat offender or possibility of it? There are 8 chapters.

Give us a taste of the poison:

Fic text here.


Mary Sue reports:

Full name plus any additional titles or aliases: Sakya Kino (pronounce it Say-ey-kah)
Full species: Silent Talker
Hair color (It’s easier if you use the text from the fic): She had long oak coloured hair that seemed weightless and flowed with every movement that she made.
Eye color (see above): She had grey eyes that looked empty and sad as if there was nothing she had worth living for, they looked almost soulless.
Unusual markings and colorations: Umm hello? soulless eyes!
Gundam name and style (if any): I dont think she has one...
Mary Sue’s/Gary Stu’s Victim Love Interest of the Day: Heero of course
Special Possessions (if any): ...soulless eyes!!!

Annoying Origin: Unknown (the most annoying of them all)
Annoying Connections to Canon: She doesnt know Heero but maybe she does...
Annoying Special Abilities: She can make anyone reading the story want to jump off a bridge
Other Annoying Traits Worth Noting: She can look through hundreds of people at one time ^_~


It was the beginning of a new school year at the Saint Gabriel Institute for disturbed children and every pupil was being gathered in the great hall to welcome everyone back and to introduce a new student because they have to induct them into their cult 0_0.... Among all of the students there were a group of people consisting of the 5 Gundam pilots and their female 'acquaintances'. "Welcome back everyone to another school year" bellowed the head teacher wait, what does he teach?!. It was after that that everyone switched off or started whispering among themselves Damn short attention spans. "So who do you think the new student is?" Relena asked the girls. "Probably some cute new guy" Catharine mused and they giggled. The guys getting a little jealous by now also spurted a conversation of their own making it just loud enough so the girls could hear. "Maybe its a girl" excused Quatre it looks like SOMEONE didnt come out of the closet yet... "a hot one at that I hope" sniggered Duo but stopped at Hilde's death glare. They stopped in their conversation war Conversation?! first of all there were only like 4 sentences and second of all, they werent even talking to each other!! with the girls by the head teachers coughing (I cant resist) Gee, I wonder why the head teacher is coughing.... "Now I would like to introduce you all to Sakya Kino (A/N: pronounce it Sak-ey-a)."

A girl about their age, 15, walked out from behind the head teacher Duck3 has it out for me, this teacher of head just wont stop!. She was tall and slim but her muscles look toned and she had a sense of physical and mental strength surrounding her. She had grey eyes that looked empty and sad as if there was nothing she had worth living for, they looked almost soulless. She was beautiful, the dangerous beautiful the type of person that once you saw them you just couldn't leave alone. Like an angel from the underworld or a devil from paradise Oxymoron much?. She had long oak coloured hair that seemed weightless and flowed with every movement that she made. She didn't seem at all scared by the hundreds of sets of eyes staring at her every move, in-fact she showed no emotion at all.
Heero wasn't paying much attention to the speech until the newcomer looked at him as she was to everyone else,Wait, how many eyes does she have? how can she be looking at hundreds of people at the same time? WITCH WITCHHH!!!!... nm eyeing each person as if seeing right through them Now she can see through people? this is too much. Something went in the pit of Heero's stomach, it felt like it was a feeling of recognition. "I know her from somewhere" he whispered to himself Since when does Heero talk to himself?. He stared at her trying to place it. The girls name meant nothing to him it was her looks, that face.."What you thinkin Heero?" came the voice of Trowa behind him. " Hn? what.nothing.finally, I found a typo! what is not a statement, it is a question!!! I just thought I recognised her from some where" he stuttered still unsure if what he said was truestuttered? heero does not stutter! and how could he not know if it was true if it was an unsure statement?.did he know her?

When the school was dismissed to lessons Heero still couldn't get the new girl out of his head, it was driving him crazy so he decided that he was going to have to ask if he knew her. He sat down in his first class with the others, deep in a train of thought that he didn't even realise who sat next to him. "Do you mind?" uttered a voice that startled Heero. "What?.ummm no.go right ahead" he said then he realised who he was talking to, her, Sakya. She looked at him with those empty eyes showing no emotion and stayed silent all lesson. "Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked intently. Her answer was simple like an answer that a soldier would give, "no." "Heero Yuy do you wish to teach the class or may I continue with the lesson!?" portrayed the teacher. "No sir, I'm sorry" Heero muttered but apologising wasn't on his mindFirst, if she was silent the entire lesson she wouldnt have said no, and if appologising wasnt on his mind then why did he appologize?. He noticed that at the mention of his name she only slightly reacted by slanting a quick glance at him. This confused Heero even more. so she doesnt know him but she might and he doesnt know her but he might... thats a lot of info to swallow... i dont even think the head teacher could take that much ^_~ (sorry, i have a one-track mind)

((Ok, im done ^_^ i only did the first chapter, i might addmore later if I get the chance))
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: emsmu
2004-11-17 02:13 am (UTC)
yep, a whole new story completely. I wish i could look at and through hundreds of people at once and not know yet know someone! that would be oxymoronic!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)