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Gundam Wing badfics!

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[Mar. 10th, 2005|08:16 am]
Gundam Wing badfics!

gwcesspool

[maxter2006]
[mood |fullfull]

Sorry it took so long to up-date, but school kept me busy and my computer hasn’t been letting me post for a looong time.

 


Story or Series Title: A New Pilot
Perp Author: Shinigami's-Girl
Any rating?:  PG-13, to be ‘safe’ she says
Canon characters Being mutilated involved: All 5 G-boys
Subjects Trivialized covered: Romance/ A sad attempt at humor
Any particular brain scarring details we should note?: A friend of hers is murdered for no reason at all and that drives her mad on the inside
Any redeeming value?: Nope, 100% Sue cliché crap
Repeat offender or possibility of it? This is her only story, but she made 9 Chapters L
Mary Sue report
Full name plus any additional titles or aliases: Amber Mizunashi
Full species: Gundam Pilot Sue who is supernaturally fast
Hair color (It’s easier if you use the text from the fic): Brown-haired
Eye color (see above): Brown Eyes
Unusual markings and colorations: None
Gundam name and style (if any): “All black with red head and chest and silver horns. Two giant katanas as weapons and incredible speed”
Mary Sue’s/Gary Stu’s Victim Love Interest of the Day: Trowa, Duo, and Heero. It seems that Quatre and Wufei aren’t good enough for her.
Special Possessions (if any): A kitten and an apartment, oh and a Gundam

Annoying Origin: The Colony equivalent of the slums of New York City
Annoying Connections to Canon: She goes to their new High School and is the ‘rumored’ 6th Pilot. We all know what bull shit that is, so I won’t go on to say who the real 6th pilot is. *cough*Zechs*cough*
Annoying Special Abilities: Can do flips like Flipper and bend logic
Other Annoying Traits Worth Noting: Flirt shamelessly, act like a 3 year old, be so obviously a Sue, is extremely fast

Give us a taste of the poison:

Chapter 1 Hi everyone! This I my first story! I’m so happy! I hope you like the story!

Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Gundam Wing.

Warnings: None. This is only the first chapter people.

Chapter One: Arrival on Colony X198876

“This colony is really run down. Are you sure OZ won’t find us here Heero?” Duo asked as he got out of the shuttle.

“Hn.” That’s Heero for yah, saying it like it is was the only answer he got.

The five Gundam pilots had just arrived at an old colony. More than half the colony was deserted. Most people who could get enough money left the colony. Only poor people and orphans lived on the colony. Then Why the Fuck are the Pilots here?

“It’s a good place to hide for awhile.” Oh Quatre said as he got out of the shuttle after Duo. “We’ve enrolled in a school here so people won’t get suspicious.” Is it just me, or does it seem kind of dumb that he is explaining the plan after they got here?

“I just hope there aren’t to many weak onnas at that school.” Wufei muttered as he got out of the shuttle. Everyone just ignored his comment.

“We need to find a place to stay. We have the tent so we can use that until we find an apartment or something.” Trowa said. Why does he have a tent?

Heero nodded and got out a map of the colony. “We’ll stay at this park.” He pointed to a park by some apartment builds. The name of it was Woodland Park. There must have been at least 10 Gundam Wing Stereo-Types in the first freakin’ scene! How does the author expect anyone to like this story when this is the first thing you read?


In an apartment next to Woodland Park, a brown-haired brown-eyed teen woke up to the sound of a shuttle arriving. “A shuttle? No, the colony exploded Who would want to come to this colony?” she asked to no one. She looked at her alarm clock. It read midnight. Funny, mine always have numbers. Then again, this is the future ‘I wonder why they decided to come in the middle of the night. Oh well. I’ll probably meet them at work when they come to buy food.’ She thought. How does she know that they will buy from her? Why not the man across the street with a lip fungus? WHAT ABOUT HIM!? She gave it no more thought and fell asleep again. Damn druggys and their ability to fall asleep on thought.


How’d you all like the first chapter? Actually, I thought it was a little better than licking ass I know it’s really short. The girl is a main character just in case you were wondering Do I smell a Sue?. Any suggestions for the story would be appreciated. Please review! It’ll make me a happy authoress! I’ll update as soon as I can, which might be hard now that school is starting. This way she can kill other subjects instead of the G-Pilots It’s starts on the 26th And we care? which is....TOMORROW! AHHHH!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! I’m just rambling. If you want me to write back to your review, say so in the review or type WBS at the end of the review. (WBS stands for write back soon.) Funny, I thought WBS stands for ‘What Bull Shit’ as in when your story comes up in a conversation it is followed by ‘what bull shit that story is’

Chapter 2 Yay! The second chapter! I just started school so it might take longer to update. I hope

These reviewers didn't really ask for a reply Maybe there was a reason for that but their the only ones who reviewed so whatever.

Arigatos:

Kuiya- I'm so happy you read my story! Now that I look at it, that was really repetitive. Oops. Hope you like the rest of the story! (I know I swiped your WBS. lol.)

Loki(makeyourselfduo)- Glad you liked it! Hope you keep reading it!

lavender moonlight- Thanks for being my first reviewer! Here's the update!

Two of my favorite authors reviewed! Yay! Thanks Kuiya and Loki! (I also like the stories on the name makeyourselfduo by Rori and Nameless Waif.) I haven't read any of lavender moonlight's stuff, but I'd be happy to read it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I wish I did but I don't. I don't own any other anime/manga the may be mentioned in this chapter.

Warnings: None that I can think of. Maybe language. You mean the way you kill the English language?

Chapter Two: New Students

In the apartment next to Woodland Park Does everything in this colony revolve around this damn park?, the teen rolled over in her sleep. Suddenly, her alarm clock began ringing loudly. She grabbed the clock and chucked it at the wall. It broke into tiny pieces and fell to the floor. Quite an arm on that one Just as she was about to fall asleep again, her cell phone rang. "Dammit." she mumbled as she grabbed her phone. "He-"She was cut off by the person yelling at her over the phone.

"Amber! Get up! And stop breaking your alarm clocks!" the person shouted.

"How'd you know I was still sleeping and that I broke my clock?" Amber asked.

"Because your apartment is next to mine. I know your still sleeping if I hear you break your alarm clock. Now get up!" What great neighbors

"Ok, ok. You don't have to yell. See you at school Patrick." Amber said.

"Bye." Patrick hung up the phone.

"He wakes up way to early. Well, I'd better get up too. Yumi, wake up." Is Yumi her lesbian lover *is hopeful*Amber turned and poked the sleeping kitten Dammit!. Yumi was about two months old and she was all black with green eyes. The kitten yawned and stretched as Amber picked her up. She carried her to the kitchen to give the kitten some food. When Yumi started eating, Amber went into her room and got ready for school. (Amber's school uniform looks like the uniforms in Fruits Basket.) I thought this was a Gundam Wing story, why do we have to hear about this girl and her kitten lover?

Just as Amber finished putting her waist-length hair into a ponytail, she heard her bus honk outside of the apartments. 'No time for breakfast.' Amber thought sadly as she grabbed her book bag and ran out to the bus.


'I'm glad I made it to the bus in time.' Amber thought as she walked into her classroom. She headed over to her desk by the window when suddenly someone tripped her. Amber did a front flip I don’t think even the most coordinated person could do a front flip after being tripped. What a Sue-y thing to do to avoid falling flat on her face.  'I hope no one saw up my skirt.' She thought as she stood up. Thankfully, no one did. Maybe because she is a fat transvestite She sighed and turned around, knowing who she'd see. She was right. There stood Matoko, the evil prep. Why is it always the evil ‘prep’ not the evil ‘goth’, not the evil ‘punk’, not the evil ‘boy-who-sits-in-the-corner-and-picks-his-nose’? Her two friends Kaya and Trishy stood behind her. Wait, who’s friends are they?

"Why can't you fall like a normal person?" Matoko demanded. I would like to know this too

"Because I'm not normal." You can say that again Amber growled. "Now, quit bugging me all the time or else."

"Or else what? What're you gonna do? Punch me? Close" Matoko sneered. Suddenly, Amber stepped forward and slapped Matoko.

"I don't punch girls weaker than I am." So that’s her excuse Amber turned on her heel and walked to her desk. Just then her only friend, Patrick, came up to her.

"Nice hit. Matoko deserved it." He said.

"Thanks."

"Are you going to get a new alarm clock?" What kind of question is that?

"Eventually."

Their conversation ended when the teacher told everyone to sit down. "We have some new students joining our class today." I wonder who they could be? Their teacher, Miss Anzai, announced. She went to the door and let the new students in. "This is Heero Yuy." She pointed to a boy with short, brown hair and Prussian blue eyes. He was glaring at the class.

'He's hot! Even though he's glaring at everybody.' Wow, that just made me crack up Amber thought. The next boy's name was Duo Maxwell. He had a yard I hope she knows how much a yard is of chestnut colored hair in a braid and cobalt blue eyes. He wore a large smile on his face. 'He's also hot! Yay!' thought Amber. The next boy's name was Trowa Barton. He had a unibang Is that even a word? that covered one eye and emerald green eyes. He face was completely devoid of emotions. 'He's pretty hot. Yay! Hot guys!' She is such a slut

"We're very honored to have this next student in our class. As of today Quatre R. Winner will be joining our class." Miss Anzai said. The whole class began whispering excitedly to each other. How do they know who he is?

"Class, settle down. I still have to introduce the next boy. His name is Wufei Chang." Miss Anzai motioned to a Chinese boy who had his hair pulled back into a little ponytail and onyx colored eyes. What? Amber didn’t make any comments of his hotness? Is Wufei not good enough for you? Is he? Is he? "Please sit in the empty desks by Miss Mizunashi. Miss Mizunashi, please raise your hand."

Amber raised her hand. The five boys sat down in the five empty desks by her desk. (Duo sat in front of her, Heero behind her, Trowa in the next row diagonal from her in the front, Quatre sat on her right, and Wufei sat behind Quatre, diagonal from her. Just incase anyone cared. No one does) 'Now I'm surrounded by the new guys! Oh well, at least three of them are hot! Yay!' Amber thought.

Duo's POV A sudden switch eh?

"Now, since it's Friday today, homeroom is a free time. You can talk to your friends or whatever." Miss Anzai told the class Since when does that happen?. 'Why'd Quatre enroll us in school? It's so boring!' I thought. I turned around to the girl behind me. Just as I was about to say hi, I noticed the picture she was drawing. It was of an angel sitting with its wings furled around it. "That's really good." I told her. No Duo! Don’t fall into her Sue trap!!

When she looked up, I found myself staring into a pair of large, brown eyes. "Whoa!" she jumped a little. "Sorry to scare you. My name's Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie!"  Wow….I want to cry I said, smiling at her.

She stared at me for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked, confused at why she was laughing. "You. That was so random!" she managed to say while laughing. I didn’t realize it was hard to talk when you are laughing. I do it all the time.

After she stopped, she said, "Gomen. So, you're name's Duo Maxwell? I'm Amber. Amber Mizunashi." "That's a pretty name." I said. Amber blushed a little.

Heero's POV I hope this isn’t a constant change of POV’s otherwise, I may implode from confusion

'We should be pretty safe here.' I thought. Just then, the girl in front of me turned around. "Hi! My name's Amber Mizunashi! Welcome to Colony X198876! Do you like it here?" she asked quite loudly. "Hn." Was my reply. "That's not an answer! Answer the question! Please?" she asked. Duo has already fallen, but Heero wont…I hope

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"C'mon. Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"No!" Amber exclaimed. What the hell was that? Is Amber 3? Really now, what kind of High School student would do that to a guy she just met? And why am I asking you? I groaned inwardly. 'Another annoying person in my life.' I thought.

Narrator's POV The narrator has their own POV?

"Pleased to meet you Miss Mizunashi." Quatre said. "Pleased to meet you too. Um, can I just call you Quatre?" Amber asked. "Yes. I'd like that better than Mr. Winner." Quatre said. "Why'd you come here? You're like, the heir to the Winner family." How does she know that? Amber said. He just shrugged. "Winner, why are you talking to that weak onna?” Wufei asked. We all know which pilot the author dislikes "Weak?!" Yes weak, got a hearing problem? Amber was shocked. Nobody had ever called her weak and for good reasons. Like no one ever talks to her? "Yes. You. Weak." Wufei said. Sicne when does Wufei talk like that?"How dare you!" Amber shouted angrily as she pulled her arm back.

"Whoa. Chill babe. Wufei's just like that. You should just ignore him." Duo said. "Is he really always like that?" Amber asked. Duo nodded. "Whoa. Freaky." What is she? Who says “Woah. Freaky”? Really she started to laugh.


"How dare Amber flirt with the new guys. Especially Heero." Yes, because everyone just loves Heero Matoko said to her two friends. So they are her two friends. Gotcha "Yeah, but she's paying more attention to Duo than Heero. Duo sure is hot." Kaya said. "I think Trowa really hot. She's not talking to him. Oh, nevermind." Trashy said as Amber started talking to Trowa. SLUT "Well, I'm going to talk to Heero." Matoko said as she started walking cross the room. Her two friends followed. I hate it when people have two friends who follow them everywhere. It makes you wonder, do they follow her to the toilet and shower? And if so, can I have a video-tape of them doing so (preferably the shower)


"Hello Heero. My name is Matoko." she said when Matoko got to Heero's desk. No, I thought it was when the fat guy with the flip fungus got to Heero’s Desk. That reminds me, what ever happened to meeting them when they came to get food? I really do not understand that part "Hn." was all Heero said. 'Hm. Playing hard to get, eh? Or he thinks you’re a scary, scary lady Well, we'll see about that.' Matoko thought. "Well, Heero, I think you're hot. Will you go out with me?" The only reason I would say yes if I were Heero, would be because you know she’ll let you have your way with her. I just know she’s that kind of skank.

Heero's eyes snapped open and he almost fell out of he's chair. "What?!" he asked. "Will you go out with me?" Matoko asked again. "No." Heero replied. In his mind he thought 'Oh great. I hope she doesn't turn out like Relena.' Me too, me too

"Why not?" Who says this? I’m guessing lip fungus dude, only because the author is too idiotic to tell me.

"Because I don't like you. That's why." I’m not complaining or anything, but don’t you have to know a person for more than 3 seconds to have an opinion about them Heero closed his eyes again. "What?! Why don't you like me?!" Matoko asked, tearing forming in her eyes. What? It sounds like her eyes tore apart "Matoko, he said he doesn't like you so leave." Amber glared at Matoko. "What are you doing here Mizunashi?" Maybe it’s because she sits there Matoko spun around to glare at Amber.

"I sit here if you don't remember." Again, it is the fat guy with lip Fungus popping up with a few words of...wisdom?

"Whatever. Let's go Kaya, Trishy." Ha ha, it sounds like she wants Kaya to grab her tushy (ass) Matoko and her friends left. "Okaaaay...That was weird." Yah think? Duo said as he sweatdropped. I never knew that was a verb "Just ignore them. If you don't, then they'll think you like them or something." Amber glared at Matoko's retreating back. Her back is retreating? "Once Matoko says she likes someone, she'll stop at nothing to make him go out with her. Tough luck Heero." Amber said laughing. "Shut up Mizunashi." Heero growled at her. "What class do you have next Amber? We all have math." Duo asked. Why does he care? "I have math too. Oh joy." Amber said sarcastically. I’m so confused. If she thinks they are hot why is she being sarcastic?


Um, this chapter was kind of a get-to-know-Amber chapter. I would have preferred if I stayed at a need-to-know basis I forced myself to write this. There are so many things wrong with that statement. If I hadn't you would have had to wait longer for it. I thought the POV's might be interesting. Well, you thought wrong Today, one of my best friends and I wrote some weird movie script on AIM. I was listening to some song and in the song it says, "Don't let these spiders crawl up beside us. They want to bite us, inject a virus." Well, I typed that and she typed "DUCK! It's above you!" And thus came the insane movie from two bored, insane teenage girls. Why the fuck do we care about you and your friends stupid actions?

Anyway, I hope you review! It'll make me happy! I won’t review, because I don’t want to give you the false hope that someone will praise this shit

Damn, LJ says this is too big so I guess I will have to make 3 posts or something.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: fatamorrigain
2005-03-10 10:30 pm (UTC)
Yucky-nes... although, I do have to wonder just why you would subject yourself to the *entire* 9 chapters... you poor, poor child, you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: maxter2006
2005-03-11 01:42 am (UTC)
oh the things I do for you guys...lol
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: hellsbit_ch
2005-04-07 03:42 am (UTC)
Ugh. That's bad, really bad. Love the attention paid to... nothing. Did you read the 'reviews'? Some mighty high intelligence there as well.

Your sporking, however, is delightful and entertaining. Very well done!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: maxter2006
2005-04-07 12:05 pm (UTC)
Yep I did, but personaly I hated this fic with all my heart and had to destroy it. Mwhaaaa 0:)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)